When it comes to connecting with others,you should be aware of the other persons personal territory also referred to as “space”.
Most people accidently apply pressure by moving into other people’s territories uninvited. When people fell under pressure it creates anxiety and when people get anxious they cannot and will not make decisions to do anything. For instance, if you go out on a date you sit on one side, and your date sits on the other side of the table each person will take territory ownership of one half of the table.
We now have to be careful how we move items into the other persons territory because if not, they’ll find it offensive, get anxious and can shut down shutting us out. Therefore, it is very important for you to know how far you can move a document across the table before it goes into the other person’s zone.
A document handed to anybody more than halfway across the table will see them shut down, get defensive and pull away.
As a test and to learn whilst having fun watch a bunch of people as they all chat and talk and then see what happens when they all move into the elevator and their intimate zones are invaded by strangers. As animals we will act as one and we all become quiet as we shut due to becoming anxious with increased levels of anxiety. What’s most funny is to see how people deal with it often now using this time to stare into their smartphone and collect their messages except smart phones don’t work in elevators.
You might have noticed that, when some people are getting out of the elevator. The rest of the people on the elevator will move to recover their personal space.
So back to our date or business meeting. By only moving the documents to the half way mark the other person will lean forward and pull the document themselves into their own territory zone without becoming anxious .
When you have a meal in a restaurant and people are finished, they’ll push their plates away or move them to another table to remove the anxiety
As a test, next time you’re out on a date, every time you get the salt or the pepper, drop it slightly back into the other person’s territory on the table. The other person will just push it back to the middle, they won’t even know they did it.
This means that people will always want to keep their territories, people will always draw the line that you cannot cross. It is very crucial to give people space so they don’t see you as a threat.
Think about how people “own” rooms in a house and make them their territory to which you need to ask permission to enter